When your dreams are not in God's plans for you.

I have not had a week job for four and a half months.  With Christmas upon us, our checking account looks to small to do gifts.  We also have K senior pictures, and visiting colleges.  Then comes applying for colleges, graduation ceremony and the open house.  

Last week I made myself available during the day during the week at my weekend place, Target.  Next week I am working thirteen hours during the week, plus on the weekend.

I did not want to do this because of my body, but the biggest reason is, I have all my life wanted to have an office job and travel.

Now, I was close to that dream but was laid off from work when I was 8 months pregnant.  The company knew that was not good since no other employer would hire me when I could have a baby any day.  I easily could have won a lawsuit for this.  The company and I settled on an agreement.

Since then, I have pretty much stayed home with my children.  I did do some temporary work and then a part-time office job.  It was hard to do these and be in charge of picking the child up from daycare.

For the last sixteen years, I have I worked in retail.  For five years, I worked at two places.  This was not my dream.  Having children was, but I had always thought I work in an office and travel.

Here I am, 49, getting closer and closer to retirement.  The chance of my getting the job and getting smaller and smaller.  Since I left my other job in June, I have applied for almost thirty jobs.  Nothing, nothing.  I am registered with five temporary agencies, and nothing.

When I was little, did God put that dream in me or Satan?  So many things I have wanted have not happen.  My paths have most of the time been different.  I wonder, do I hear God?  Am I not doing something right?  What really are God's plans for me?  Does he not give us the desires or our heart?  No, not all of them.   He knows which ones would hurt us.  Yet, it seems like almost all of mine are not given.

In addition, I thought I was only to work on the weekend and maybe find a hobby to do.  That hobby  would be something I could do if we get a farm.  By working more hours, I am not putting all of my trust in God to provide for us financially.  Have I disappointed God?  How we were to buy gifts this year?  

My prayers for this is that my body does not require more surgeries in the next year.  I pray that the doctors can find a way to fix me.  Also, that this is temporary. 

Date Night seeing MercyMe in concert

I have  another Christian band that I can check off my bucket list.  In the past two years I now have seen three groups I have wanted to seen for a long time.  One of them was good but the concert was more like a church service.  Still, my all time favorite was about seven years ago, and the band could put on a show.  They had a duo between the drummer and the lead singer on bongos.

Friday night's concert was awesome also.  We left home for Rochester, which is an hour and a half from us.  When we got there, we found a Perkins and had supper.  We looked at our phones for the time and decided we needed to find the church.  We got there, bought some merchandise and then our seats.  We first thought we were in the front area.  We looked at our tickets and thought they were in the third row.  We sat down and looked at the stage.  WOW!!   My husband and I both took pictures with our cell phones.  The opening act started and a usher came to our row with a family.  He asked to look at our tickets and told us that we were actually in the front row.  We got up and moved to our seats, along with everyone else in that row.  That was incredible.

MercyMe was great to see that close.  It was worth every penny.   It was a moving concert and brings you closer to God.  I just love how God is used through these musicians.  I am going to see if I can get the pictures from my phone to post on here.

We got home late and our daughter was already in bed, since she had to get up early for work.

Can't wait to find the next Christian musician to see.

Just playing around with the camera I got for Christmas

School has been back in session for K for a month now.  Our son is still at college and has been for six weeks and our oldest is still in her apartment.  I still only have my work that is on the weekends.  During the week I do find errands to do along with household chores.  Most of the weeks my husband has been gone for meetings.  When he isn't he is downstairs in his office.  To say the least, I am bored.

I have considered volunteering.  The problem with that is I have limited gas funds for my vehicle along with restrictions from my neck surgeon.  Since I have time on my hands I decided to learn more about the camera I got for Christmas.  I have been taking pictures around my yard along with where we board our stables.

Here are just a few of them.  I hope I can spend more time with the manual to understand it more.  I hope you enjoy them.

Life here on Earth has it's ups and downs

Well, K had two interviews last week.  One of the stores sent her an rejection email (that was the one she wanted to work for), the other one gave her a conditional offer.  This week she has to go to a clinic that does drug tests.  Since K is a minor, I have to go with.  It seems weird to me that my daughter has to be tested for drugs.  I can understand someone like my oldest and of course me.

M's boyfriend had three interviews with the same company.  He has not heard back from them.  The company is trying to work out a lease for a building.  He does have a small paying co-editor job for a website magazine company.  That is a step in the direction of a sports writing career.

I am so grateful for all God has done for us, yet there is still more.

Over the weekend, K got her senior pictures taken.  We brought the horse up to the company's place.  Our horse wasn't thrilled about posing.  She wanted to eat their grass and visit their horses.  It was beautiful day especially after the rain the day before.  Since we have warm weather and little rain, the leaves were either brown or their usual color.  They say that Minnesota is two weeks behind in the leaves changing color.  Oh well, hopefully the pictures will still be great.

Here is a picture of them during the session.  The place was beautiful so much I wanted to buy it from then and bring my horse there.  We obviously won't until K has finished high school, had the open house and she is at college.  We won't need this big house that we are in now.  Every time K and I talk about it to my husband, he says something to crash that dream.  I don't know why he does that since he does all the time.  I quite having goals and dreaming years ago.  Life has always given me the unexpected.  I have had to in an instant change my plans.  I live day by day.  The goals I had had to be put on the back burner.  My dreams never came to.  Now, I just live each day as is.  W hates that I don't do this.  So now that I have one, he tells me we will never be able to afford our own property, or we won't find a house layout that he likes.

We are now on to looking at colleges for K.  We just need to find a time where we can spend more than a few minutes looking.

How is everyone's else Autumn going?  I hope that is full of fun, adventure and new experiences.  I love this season with the leaves changing then dropping so we can make big piles.  I love the cooler temperatures and wearing new clothes.  The boots that are in style along with cozy sweaters.  It is time to make apple crisp and pie.  Enjoy this season everyone!!!!!