I am siting here in my house today finally with the windows open.  The past week and a half has been unbearable outside.  I am sorry to say but I am not a fan of summer even if the heat is dry heat.  Hot, is hot.

I am thankful to the Lord for lowering the temperature today.  But, disappointment that we have had no significant rainfall in over a month.  My horse is a little bit better, but not perfect yet.  I still don't have a job for during the week, and many other things.  I ask God to answer these prayers many times during the day.  I cry out to him and I even got mad.  Before you thoughts go any farther, yes I thank him for every little and large thing he answers and provides.  I ask for forgiveness each day and ask what am I doing wrong.  I pray for other peoples needs and what does God want here on earth.  I wonder why do these needs go unmet?  How much longer?  Does God not know that if there are not soon, the basic needs of food and shelter will no longer be there?  How much more can a person go through?

My oldest daughter's boyfriend graduated from college two years ago.  The degree with which he earned was not his passion.  He decided to pursue his passion.  He still does not have a paying job in it.  He was still working his college part-time job but they let him go.  Everyday he is on the computer looking at job postings for what he was doing and his passion.  I honestly don't know how much longer he can take this.

My son wants to be accepted, included and be successful.  All during school he didn't get invited to many parties.  He had a very small group of friends.  A also struggled with grades.  He would start the term out great and then it went down hill.  A's desire has always been to be a A student.  But every report and teacher has crushed him.  It also was difficult for him to get a part-time job.  Once he got it, he always struggled with the restaurant manager.

K has had social anxiety all her school life.  It carries over into her personal life.  K has learned how to overcome her fears most of the time.  Yet, there are new situations where she still needs help.  We could never find a treating professional in our area with our insurance company.  I researched online and found a group that had literature about it.  They also held seminars with a licensed professional speaking.  After attending a few of them, I transferred those techniques to K.  When she needs guidance, I am there to help her.  I have been both mom and a treating professional to her.

The weather.  It is either too wet, or to dry.  It is too hot.  It affects our yard, my health, my horse (her health, her food).  It affects our food and the cost.

My husband who is a diabetic and always needs to exercise.  In addition, he wants either a different position in his company or a promotion.  A raise is needed also since I am working only weekends.  He also takes care of his mom's money and is there when the nursing home has questions.  Oh, I answer those calls also.

Then there is me.  My health and that I am not working.

All my life I have had struggles.  I have had health issues, dealing with being adopted, watching many family members die, my own struggles with grades and college, etc.  I grow weary waiting for God to answer all.  I have been told he is a strong God and can do everything.  Why then are so many of these still waiting?  Sometimes I wish the world would end and all this suffering would end.  Yes, there are other that are in more desperate situations and struggling far worse than me.  I still can't help but feel discouraged.  Am I alone?  Does anyone else feel like this?